throw me a bone

It was one of my good girl-friend's 18th birthday this weekend, and to commemorate the occaision she held a big party in a bar in town. I arrived with another girl-friend of mine and settled down at the booth our friends had commandeered to get set up.
Drinks were flowing and we were meeting new people when I saw my ex walk in with her new boyfriend (our booth was close to the door so we could see people we knew and approach people we liked the look of) and despite my efforts to continue as normal, seeing them had seriously thrown me off kilter. I chastised myself for being such an arse and went over to introduce myself to the birthday girl's mum, which resulted in me getting free glasses of champagne whenever she passed me. I sat in the booth drinking and chatting when a girl I have history with came up and dragged me away to dance, we danced and chatted and laughed, and danced with friends who were on the dancefloor already when suddenly I saw my ex and her boyfriend again, I was emboldened by alcohol and so didn't look away awkwardly as soon as she looked over- which it soon became apparent she was doing curiously often. I ignored the voice in my head which was contemplating all the possible reasons she could have been looking for and continued to dance, trying my best to look as I had before. I forced a smile as I danced and suddenly the girl I was dancing with pushed me against the wall and passionately kissed me (I had always loved her fire, and shes a fucking good kisser), when my head stopped spinning (from impact and euphoria) my eye caught a glimpse of my ex pretending not to look and looking quite distressed. For a minute I felt shallow and pathetic for how good the sight made me feel, but then she kissed me again and it felt so fucking good it made me content in my stunted emotions. As the night wore on I continued to drink and dance and speak to friends, for a while I lamented the fact I hadn't managed to kiss anyone new, but I did also feel wondrously validated which helped a lot, despite the passion of the night I was under no illusions, whilst I had a wonderful evening and shared lots of little moments with the beautiful girl, I knew how it worked- this didn't mean anything, we were unlikely to do this again for a while and to ever speak to her of it would be unimaginable (until she brings it up, which means it is happening again) . So as we shared a last long kiss I cherished what was happening, and when we slowly stopped I leant in and whispered in her ear, "thankyou"